This is my first attempt at blogging. I have considered doing a blog before, but now that I am on a path that I have never been on before, I have decided to give it a try. I would like to share my feelings with those who would like to listen. I begin by saying that I have my own battles with fear. Sometimes folks believe that preachers are somehow immune. The first two days after hearing the news that I had cancer were the darkest days in my life. I have been through some fiery trials down through the years, yet when I learned that I had cancer, it knocked the breath out of me. After those first two days, God gave me peace like I've never experienced before. It truly is "peace that passeth all understanding." That is not to say that all my fears have dissappeared and I haven't been afraid since. Each time I have gone to the doctor to get the results from the latest test, I feel the darkness closing in on me. Every time I feel pain in my abdomen, I am reminded of the enemy inside of me that is seeking to take my life.
By the grace of God, I intend to allow God to make this trial a blessing. God has allowed me to know Him in a way that I've never known Him before. I have learned that God's grace is given as needed--when need--in the measure that is needed for a particular trial. I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know who holds tomorrow. I've also been reminded that when I get to tomorrow, God will already be there!
I don't know how often I will write in this blog. As God directs, I will attempt to share my feelings with you. I love each and everyone of you and my prayer is that I can display in my sickness that God's grace is sufficient!
Pastor Luke
Luke, I think this is such a wonderful thing for you to do. I have blogged Russells experience from day one and it has helped me tremendously and he says it helps him too because he learns exactly how I feel. You are such a God fearing man and I know God will be able to be glorified through you. At first, I kept asking God "why Rusell? Why the best person in the whole world (to me anyway)? Why not some horrible person who had done many bads things?" God answered me, I didn't necessarily deserve an answer but he answered the desire of my heart and said: "I chose Russell because I know he will give me the glory, those other people would not but he is special and I trust him to stand true to me"...the doctors didn't give him but about 18 months but God has given thirty so far and counting...I promise you that I have been praying daily for you, I do NOT know what you are feeling or going through but I can identify with your wife, it is a helpless feeling until God gives peace as you spoke of.. please let her know that she can call me anytime. I look forward to reading your journey. Russells journey is blogged under the note tab on my facebook page. Much love and prayers with you and your family, Shawnte
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